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A love letter is a romantic way to express feelings of love in written form. Delivered by hand, by mail or romantically left in a secret location, the letter may be anything from a short and simple message of love to a lengthy explanation of feelings.

Sometimes letters are preferable to face-to-face contact because they can be written as the thoughts come to the author’s mind. This may allow feelings to be more easily expressed than if the writer were in the beloved’s presence. Further, expressing strong emotional feelings to paper or some other permanent form can be an expression within itself of desire and the importance of the beloved and the lover’s emotions. The expression of feelings may be made to an existing love or in the hope of establishing a new relationship. The increasing rarity and consequent emotional charm of personal mail may also serve to emphasize the emotional importance of the message.

Other times, especially in the past before the wide use of telecommunications, letters were one of the few ways for a couple to remain in contact. When one of them was posted or stationed some distance from the other, the “being apart” often intensified emotions and many times a desired normal communication could lead to a letter expressing love, longing and desires. This was especially the case with large numbers of young men and women were separated during times of war. During these times, “love letters” were the only means of communication, and soldiers even swapped addresses of desirable young ladies so that an initial communication and possible start of a relationship could be initiated.

As with any letter, a love letter could be written in any structure or style. One historically popular method is as a sonnet or other form of poem. William Shakespeare’s sonnets are often cited as good examples of how to write emotional themes. Structure and suggestions of love letters have formed the subject of many published books, such as the anthology Love Letters of Great Men.

After the end of a relationship, returning love letters to the sender or burning them can symbolise the hurt felt. In the past, love letters also needed to be returned as a matter of honor: a love letter, particularly from a lady, could be compromising or embarrassing later in life.

Some stationery companies produce paper and envelopes specifically for love letters. Some of these are scented, though most people prefer to spray them with their own perfume. This emphasizes in the receivers mind, the physical connection that occurred between them in this form of communication and thus may strengthen the overall impact of the letter.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_letter

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Agapism professes that love (or “agape”) should be the sole ultimate value and that all other values are derived from it, or that the sole moral imperative is to love. Theological agapism holds that our love of God is expressed by loving each other. As the ethics of love, agapism indicates that we should do the most loving thing in each situation, letting love determine our obligation rather than rules. Alternatively, given a set of rules, agapism indicates to follow those rules which produce the most love.

The American philosopher Charles Sanders Peirce used the word “agapism” for the view that creative love is operative in the cosmos. Drawing from the Swedenborgian ideas of Henry James, Sr., Charles Sanders Peirce held that it involves a love which expresses itself in a devotion to cherishing and tending to people or things other than oneself, as parent may do for offspring, and as God, as Love, does even and especially for the unloving, whereby the loved ones may learn. Peirce regarded this process as a mode of evolution of the cosmos and its parts, and he called it “agapasm”, wherein: “The good result is here brought to pass, first, by the bestowal of spontaneous energy by the parent upon the offspring, and, second, by the disposition of the latter to catch the general idea of those about it and thus to subserve the general purpose.”[1] Peirce held that there are three such principles and three associated modes of evolution:

“Three modes of evolution have thus been brought before us: evolution by fortuitous variation, evolution by mechanical necessity, and evolution by creative love. We may term them tychastic evolution, or tychasm, anancastic evolution, or anancasm, and agapastic evolution, or agapasm. The doctrines which represent these as severally of principal importance we may term tychasticism, anancasticism, and agapasticism. On the other hand the mere propositions that absolute chance, mechanical necessity, and the law of love are severally operative in the cosmos may receive the names of tychism, anancism, and agapism.” — C. S. Peirce, 1893.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agapism

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Love-shyness, a specific type of severe chronic shyness that impairs or prevents intimate relationships, is a degree of inhibition and reticence with the opposite sex that is sufficiently severe to preclude participation in courtship, marriage, and family roles. According to this definition, love-shy people find it difficult if not impossible to be assertive in informal situations involving potential romantic or sexual partners. For example, a heterosexual love-shy man will have trouble initiating conversations with women because of strong feelings of social anxiety.

Some psychologists believe that love-shyness can exist without the presence of other phobias or anxiety disorders—that it can be focused only on issues related to intimacy and not be related to other problems. Some also believe that, regardless of whether love-shyness is tied to other social-anxiety problems, it nevertheless develops its own unique issues that must be attended to in order to effect the fullest recovery for the afflicted individual; that, regardless of the causes, the long-term course of a love-shy person’s life is profoundly affected in unique ways, because of the unique and paramount importance of personal intimacy in one’s life, thereby setting love-shyness apart from other phobias and requiring special therapeutic attention and support.

Love-shyness may be a stand-alone phobia (independent of other phobias), or may also be a subset of social anxiety disorder, also sometimes called social phobia. Some psychologists also hold that avoidant personality disorder can be an underlying cause of intimacy avoidance or Love-shyness. Some also refer to Love-shyness as Erotophobia although erotophobia is also seen by some as being a much more narrowly-defined problem than Love-shyness (tied only to sex and not having the broader spectrum of Love shyness, which is seen as being more multi-dimensional). Others would define erotophobia as one type of Love shyness. In some cases, another specific phobia, body dysmorphic disorder (a phobia of being seen as physically unattractive) may also be an underlying cause of Love-Shyness.

The term “Love-shyness” was originally coined by psychologist Brian G. Gilmartin, who estimated that love-shyness afflicts approximately 1.5% of American males and will prevent about 1.7 million U.S. males from ever marrying or experiencing intimate sexual contact with women. Gilmartin also conducted research studies and formulated treatment and prevention protocols for Love Shyness.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_shyness

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